Almost a year might as well say it is…

Its almost been a year since my wife died I have been on one long on going roller coaster. As I continue to go on that I look back at all the friends I have met new ones and old ones. People just don’t talk like they use too it is so different after an important person in a family dies. Some people loose there way or go on about there business either way that person can feel alone in this world but I know that is not true. I am and will never be completely alone. I have God above watching and waiting till that way is conquered by me until I see him again. When I return it will be his plan not mine as it has always been his alone and no one else. While the world is full of wars of all kinds weather it is physical, spiritual, or mental we all are victors in the war in life as we battle all sorts of things from enemies of another country or demons of our own. In all our minds we may see things differently but we will all come to same conclusion hopefully. Even with a certain few days coming up June 6, 1944 D-Day, and June 7, 2014 I remember people on those day that suffered great loss and when I suffered great loss. I think about all the families who live on and move forward knowing there is and end to all this madness of the world where finally we can be in peace. As I come to terms with my loss I pray for those who still live in difficult times even my self with my mind out of control in thought. While I make since on paper of some type of media I realize thoughts are just thoughts not written to refrain from speech to neglect such negative results. I am just thankful that I don’t publish everything I write simply cause those are my thoughts not supposed to be read by others so that I may keep my sanity, which is very scarce at this point. I know others feel the same as I feel but we all handle things differently. Some go on move on forward remember the loss of the one that kept them going or thought of deeply. Without end it’s a cycle that must be completed. We know we die for whatever reason it may be from all is the same to me cause we all die of something somewhere without knowledge of such. We are all the gatekeepers and our brothers keeper in the serious war on life to fight for what we believe in. Our goal in life is still the same to find peace hopefully the good way cause like my mind is crazy with thoughts we choose the way we want to walk in life. We make choices and live with them. I have made the choice to write the most deeply thought words you will ever read. I love all people no matter what they look like but people make it hard to accept love from one person to afraid of being happy cause they find happiness in something that is not in the next life. This world is full of negative so much that it is terrifying to see what I see and feel and know. The jewels I wear from the riches of deep knowledge and understanding of this world and everything in it. That all that to say that no matter what you do there are consequences. To find peace in that is like seeing a soldier coming home from war. To see them alone is a miracle in all that they have to done to do so. They went they saw and they conquered but then at the same time I think of the ones that died there or people that die anywhere. We came to this world we saw many things when we die we conquered what we were supposed to because in life all life must die so that we will have a chance to return to the Almighty. As a plant starts, grows, then when its supposed to dies returns to the earth and the cycle repeats. From whence we came we shall return.

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